Is Spiritual Direction for You? Ten points to help you understand this ancient (yet very modern) spiritual practice

 

By Steve Givens, spiritual director at Walter’s Walk  

Once thought of as largely something for priests, ministers and those in religious life, the practice of spiritual direction (sometimes called spiritual companionship) today is a widely used spiritual practice that has been embraced by those from many different walks of life, religious traditions and denominations. 

By the most simplest of definitions, spiritual direction within the Christian tradition is the act of one Christian helping another along in their spiritual journey by “sacred listening,” that is, by listening with the heart to one person’s story and helping them reflect on it and see how God is moving and acting in their life. It is an act of contemplative prayer for two people who meet together regularly, with one person taking the more active role of listening and questioning. 

Here are ten points I offer for those interested in pursuing the sacred experience of spiritual direction: 

• Don’t be misled by the term “spiritual director,” for I will not be directing your spiritual journey. But I will accompany you, listen to you, and be a trusted companion as you seek to make your way toward a more mature relationship with God. I won’t generally play the role of teacher for you, but I will work with you to help clarify your questions about God and God’s Church and guide you to resources that might begin to answer them for you. 

• Generally, spiritual directors choose this ministry not because they have it all figured out but rather because they sense a deep calling to walk with others as they move toward a closer relationship with God, even as they continue to do the same. And while I may from time to time share a small piece of my own story with you, it won’t be because I think I have all the answers. Rather, it will be to remind you that we are kindred spirits, companions on a journey toward God. 

• I believe there are always three persons present when we meet, with God occupying the third and unseen chair in the room. I will pay close attention to what resonates in me as you speak, for that, I believe, is the movement and nudging of God. I believe God leads our time together. 

• I will respect and never doubt or try to explain (or explain away) your experiences of God or God’s movement in your life, but I will always try to help you describe and understand them on a deeper level. I will try to guide you toward a mature, more intimate understanding of God, who I believe desires a close relationship with you. I will encourage you to question and look beyond the images and understandings of God that have been ingrained in you over time. 

• I will encourage your growing awareness of the presence and movement of God in all aspects of your life, for all the facets and parts of your life show signs of God’s presence and are therefore “grist for the mill” of our time together. 

• I will always pay close attention to what you say, for your story is sacred to you and therefore to me. I will listen far more than I will talk, and I will gently push you to dig deeper, explore further, describe more fully and remember with more detail your experiences of God. I will remain open to -- and listen and watch for -- the signs of God’s movement in your life and encourage you to do the same.  

• Wherever we meet, I will seek to create a space that reflects the importance of this sacred conversation and time in which we are engaged. I promise to ensure the confidentiality of everything we discuss and of the very fact that we meet. 

• I will guide you to discern for yourself what your story and your desires mean and what is God’s purpose for you and your life. I will help you explore what things in your life are “of God” or “not of God,” but I will never tell you what I think the answers are, for this is your gift to discover. Your experiences of God will never be the same as mine. 

• I will pray for you, before, during and after our time together. I am open to praying with you during our meeting, if you desire. But please know that I believe that our time together -- both our words and our silences -- is, in fact, prayer.

• I believe, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once wrote, in the “slow work of God,” and will encourage you to nurture a willingness to open yourself to a life of awareness and paying close attention as you wait patiently for God’s response to your life of prayer. I know from my own experience that this is not easy work, but I am here to walk with you. 

For more information on spiritual direction, visit the website of Spiritual Directors International, http://www.sdiworld.org/, which includes a guide for finding the right spiritual director for you. If you wish to contact me for more information or to inquire about seeking spiritual direction, email me at givenscreative@gmail.com.